Subtypes of Schlenton

Schlentons, as we know them, are measured by levels, which determine the scent, density, weight, height, stature, cleanliness and condition of the poop making up the Schlenton itself. It should be known that there are officially 5 levels ranging from 1 to 5, 5 being the lowest. There is (unofficially) a level 0 which can only contain Poopula C. Schlenton. It is completely impossible for a street schlenton of levels 3, 4 and 5 to contaminate Poopula C, although a level 1 or 2 schlenton easily could be contaminated if left untreated in a touched state by one of the much lower level ‘tons.

LEVEL 0: 

There is a single level zero schlenton, that being Poopula C. Schlenton, who is the cleanest of the schlentons, smells good, and is fully safe to be around and fuck. Poopula is commonly perfumed before use with french perfumes that Louis XIV does not want to use any longer, or just plain hates. Poopula is able to make more noises, such as a strange imitation of an airplane that cannot be replicated through text. Poopula is followed by some insects, those being butterflies, honeybees, bumblebees due to his perfumed scent.

LEVEL 1:

This level is nearly synonymous with level zero, except these schlentons are usually scentless, and they typically are not as well-maintained as Poopula C. himself. They (of course) can make farting noises (via escaped gas) like the rest of schlentons and can stumble, but they cannot replicate Poopula’s unique noises. Level 1 Schlentons are a moderately common Schlenton and were made from the poop in the Poop factory. Only 8 Schlentons live in Europe and are completely sterilized, thus blocking their ability to reproduce. Some groups have been dying out due to King LGBT’s terrorist attack on the Poop Factory.

LEVEL 2:

Level 2 Schlentons are nearly identical to level 1s in terms of cleanliness, but had been made with lower quality poop than the level 1s and usually tend to smell worse, and be made of a softer poop. Level 2 schlentons are safe to be around and to have sexual intercourse with, with a survival rate of 98.5%. Rarer type. Reduced heavily due to Roselli conquests in polynesia and melanesia. Originally from the Poop Factory.

LEVEL 3:

Level 3 Schlentons are an increasingly common (yet demographically mixed) Schlenton type, with the majority of them coming from level 2s turned dirty via contact with other Schlentons of lower levels. These schlentons carry a foul smell, yet they are only infected with light bacteria and sometimes carry disease. When around them, there is a safety rate of 71%. This type is found all around the entire world, excluding europe, north africa and the middle east. This type is sporadically followed by bugs, though infestations are rare.

LEVEL 4:

Level 4 Schlentons are the most common type of Schlenton and are extremely unclean. These Schlentons are commonly formed by surviving breakaway pieces of Poopula C. Schlenton, that managed to survive. These Schlentons carry disease, smell very bad, usually are infested with bugs and larvae, and are followed by flies, cockroaches, and their jeans usually carry bedbugs. These Schlentons are commonly found throughout central africa, southeast asia, and eastern brazil. They prefer wet, tropical humid climates. The safety rate of humans when encountered is 30%, guaranteed they do not encroach them. Level 4s sporadically approach humans and will lay eggs in their mouths.

LEVEL 5:

Level 5 Schlentons (also known as Street Schlentons) are the filthiest and most abominable subtype of Schlenton. They possess all characteristics of level 4s, but worse. Their stench is so foul that it could knock a man out with a few short breaths. They carry hundreds to thousands of parasites. They sometimes appear discolored, with splotches of blue, green, and white. They are also known to spread and carry mold spores. Level 5 Schlentons should never be approached by any human and should be avoided at all costs as they are a biohazard. Their nucleus is found in Micronesia and South Africa. The safety rate for humans when around them (some 15 feet) is extremely low, at only 5.1%.