Pastorism

Pastorism is an extremely heretical religion that was founded by the mentally ill Pastor John. Its beliefs are as followed

-Pastor John is the second coming
-Catholics are demons
-Satanic black mass rituals are mandatory
-Every Biblical character was somehow also Pastor John
-God is Pastor John
-Everyone must rape Pastor John and get him pregnant
-Faith alone saves
-Only the "Pastorist Bible of John" is valid
-Jews are the chosen people
-There are "ministers of john"
-There is a hierarchy of rank, starting from Pastor, then to Good Pastor, then to Minister then to Good Minister, then to Flastor, then to finally, a title only Pastor John holds, the Good Flastor

It must be known WE DO NOT ENDORSE THESE VIEWS OR WISH TO REMOTELY ENTERTAIN THEM BESIDES EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES

Pastorism relies on a book known as the "Pastorist Bible of John" which is heavily modified version of the Bible, where the first 30 pages just say Pastor John over and over again, the old testament is completely removed, all biblical characters (i.e. St. Paul) have been replaced by Pastor John, and It's filled with otherwise complete nonsense

Pastorism is more or less a broad term for Protestantism, as it includes several sects. 

Baptists - Led by Pastor Bob
Lutherans - Led by Pastor John
Non-Denominational - Led by Pastor Badabingo
Methodists - Led by Pastor John
Pentecostals - Led by Pastor Bob

Anglicans are not included because their church was absorbed by the Snailish Church. While all these sects are under Pastor Johns final authority, they operate in the Church of John, which is a council of the different sects of Pastorism and they vote for different actions, reforms, and events to be approved by Pastor John.

These sects while they operate differently and have different laws, traditions, and customs, all are under Pastor Johns authority. For example, Pastor Bobs Baptist sect might operate differently compared to a Lutheran service, and Pastor Bob may prefer to do something different, but this variation needs to be approved first by the Church of John, then sent to Pastor John to be approved.