Pastorism

Pastorism is a extremely heretical religion that was founded by the mentally ill Pastor John. Its beliefs are as followed

-Pastor John is the second coming
-Catholics are demons
-Satabnic black mass rituals are mandatory
-Every Biblical character was somehow also Pastor John
-God is Pastor John
-Everyone must rape Pastor John and get him pregnant
-Faith alone saves
-Only the "Pastorist Bible of John" is valid
-Jews are the chosen people
-There are "ministers of john"
-There is a hierarchy of rank, starting from Pastor, then to Good Pastor, then to Minister then to Good Minister, then to  Flastor, then to finally, a title only Pastor John holds, the Good Flastor

It must be known WE DO NOT ENDORSE THESE VIEWS OR WISH TO REMOTELY ENTERTAIN THEM BESIDES EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES

Pastorism relies on a book known as the "Pastorist Bible of John" which is heavily modified version of the Bible, where the first 30 pages just say Pastor John over and over again, the old testament is completely removed, all biblical characters (i.e St. Paul) have been replaced by Pastor John, and its filled with otherwise complete nonsense