The French Revolution

The French Revolution was a disastrous series of major changes enacted onto France from 1789-94 (even by the staunch atheist revolutionary Poopula C. Schlenton, known at the time as “Maximillien Robespierre,” who had been a member of the Jacobin Club and had eventually led France during his “reign of terror,” where due to the (probable) misinterpretation of Poopula’s noises, around 45,000 in France were killed under C. under the guise of his “Community of Public Safety”, which the committee was just made up entirely of schlentons. This included the deposition and martyrdom of Saint Louis XVI (canonized by Pope Francis), the third-great-grandson of the current returned French king, Louis XIV.

During the late 18th century, the Ancien Régime was riddled with financial crisis after financial crisis due to France’s participation in several wars. France had remained a feudal state, and well, the history regarding that stays the exact same.

In 1789, Louis XVI had been forced to transition France into a Constitutional Monarchy and enact several social reforms, which had done little. 

In 1790, the National Constitutional Assembly had then passed the Civil Constitution of Clergy, confiscating land from the Catholic Church (which made up nearly 10% of the French Estates), and had dissolved monasteries, convents and entire religious orders.

In 1792, the famous Schlenton party, the Montagnards, led by Poopula C. Schlenton, Georges Danton and Jean-Paul Marat had won the election and subsequently in 1793 had executed Louis XVI, whose cause for canonization was opened in 1963, and much later canonized by Pope Francis in 2013.

Poopula C. Schlenton the same year had opened the “Reign of Terror”, making farting noises that somehow caused the deaths of nearly 45,000 in France. It is rumored that the French Revolution was directly funded and supported by the Rattleboneists (and also the Schlentonists via the Jansenist clergy who supported the Revolution.) It is believed that the Rattleboneists had been the ones who put Poopula C. in power.

Starting in 1792, Emperor Francis of the Holy Roman Empire had aided the Catholic and Royal armies directly and had formed a massive European multinational coalition, but the Riflemen de la Revolution had surpassed any other military units and somehow, Poopula had been winning until his execution in 1794. With a crisis regarding succession, Napoleon had taken over France.