Uncle Hagen

Uncle Hagen is a disgusting monster created from one of Docta Mista Hou's experiments. He is an abomination morphing the semen sample of Pope Francis and Uncle Free, and was shortly released to be the janitor for poop wrestling, where he scrubs and eats the poop, blood, ejaculate, and other stuff that covers the arena.

Uncle Hagen lives in a cage under the mat for poop wrestling, and is deathly allergic to sunlight. He only eats poop, ejaculate, and blood, and can only produce disgruntled moans and groans, and the occasional short incoherent babble of words. Uncle Hagen has the ability to crawl on walls and ceilings, and can run at fast speeds.

He is never seen publically, except in Peru, whereas we see pictured on the left, the indigenous population loves him, and they enjoy just watching him eat poop off the ground. One time, Chief Chuckachee himself came to watch him, and threw him a piece of poop, starting a long Peruvian tradition of going up to Uncle Hagen and feeding him, like a petting zoo.

During a visit from Blar, Uncle Hagen managed to impregnate her without her consent, and 9 months later she birthed out Eddie Kosh, which is why he is able to sometimes morph like a spider.